Courage to Serve – Day 21

 
I wrote an awkward and somewhat raw description of my Kairos prison ministry experience on the Servants of Christ blog in November 2016. Lowell Correctional Institute (Lowell C.I.) is located 30 minutes south of Gainesville and is the nation’s largest women’s prison. Each Kairos Weekend is set up similar to a “Cursillo” (Anglican 4th Day or Walk to Emmaus) weekend, and there are typically two of these weekends each year that take place in Lowell C.I. The Kairos reunions occur monthly and are about 3 hours in length, which allows time for Kairos volunteers to pray with and encourage inmates who attend. As I enter Lowell a couple of times each month for the reunions (Lowell C.I. contains two female prisons), each time it is challenging. First, a prison isn’t the most hospitable place; no one really wants to be there (inmates or guards); it is a sterile place. Many of the people I speak with seem aloof or defensive. Second, who am I to bring the Gospel to these people? Haven’t I committed crimes? Haven’t I done wrong in the eyes of God? I put these questions, and many more, to James (poor James), and I pray, and Christ grants me the courage to consistently serve. I have learned how to rely on Christ. I have learned obedience to Christ.
 
There are the times when I do sense His presence, and it is so joyful. One of these moments of joy occurred while in a room on death row. There are times when the women are real, their pain is real, and they are repentant and desperately seeking Him. This is not the norm though, and I cannot rely on the brief moments of joy for my motivation to serve. Most times, in order to motivate myself in preparation for a Kairos reunion, it takes serious reflection on the cross. He sacrificed all for me, and what do I do with that knowledge? What do I do for those He loves, for those He wants?
 
Even with the uncomforting factor of the prison environment, this ministry has strengthened my faith. Through mainly the sharing of testimonies, this ministry has profoundly made clear some of the basics of my faith that I thought I had already learned. For instance, truly admitting how my sin permeates and hinders relationships is one main area that became clear. On a more comforting level, I witnessed answered prayers, healing these relational wounds (personally, and in the lives of a few of the inmates). A long term ministry commitment helps one to grow in all areas of life.
 
Prison ministry is foundational in my walk with Christ, though I do not write this as a recruiting attempt. Anyone who is truly interested in prison ministry should be deep in prayer on the matter, prepared to enter a developing-nation-type of environment: lack of resources, lack of peace, anger, uncomfortable topics of discussion, and tribalism in a sense. A woman I worked with on a Kairos team mentioned that anyone considering ministry abroad should try their hand at prison ministry for a year before embarking, to serve as a preparation boot camp of sorts.
 
I sense I am most unqualified to suggest ministry to anyone, possibly due to my lack of experience. I can report that, spiritually, I have grown more by obediently serving at Lowell than I have in any other Christian endeavor. Additionally, I have gained the blessing of fellowship with many really amazing women (not only those who serve in Kairos with me, but quite a few of the inmates who truly embrace the cross and are a source of light in the compound). Pray wholeheartedly and consistently for guidance in whatever ministry you enter, don’t limit yourself due to fear and take that first step – you can do all things through Him.
 
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25
 
 

Leann Manley

 
 

Leann is an associate professor and instructor in the biological sciences at the College of Central Florida and has been a part of Kairos Prison Ministry since 2016.


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